


IKEA hot dog introspection

by sierraadeux



Series: companions through life [2]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, IKEA, IKEA dates, M/M, forever home talks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-01-05
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:08:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22136839
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sierraadeux/pseuds/sierraadeux
Summary: Dan is craving an IKEA hot dog.orthe time I tweeted "I think I could romanticize ikea hot dogs" at 3:33 am and couldn't stop thinking about it until I wrote it.
Relationships: Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Series: companions through life [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1617661
Comments: 16
Kudos: 96





	IKEA hot dog introspection

“Do you ever just crave an IKEA hot dog?” 

Phil looks up from behind his book to squint and shake his head at Dan from where he’s lounging on the sofa. “No?” 

Dan leans back in his desk chair, Phil knows better to not nag him about it toppling backwards - if Dan hasn’t learned by now, he never will. He searches Phil’s face for a moment, apparently not finding what he's looking for as he sits back up straight, scooting forward to continue his clickety clacking at his computer. 

Phil sighs, folding the page he was just pulled out of and tossing the book by his feet on the other end of the sofa - the soft thud harmonizing with Dan’s loud typing. That’s the problem, or maybe the opposite, of being in a relationship where you and your partner are so in tune with each other. Leaving things be is never an option when you can basically read your other half’s thoughts. There’s no ' _Oh, forget about it,'_ in the Dan and Phil household. 

“Okay, I’ll bite.” 

Dan stops typing, he looks over to Phil with that sickeningly adorable pouty face of his. “I’m just really craving an IKEA hot dog right now.” 

Phil huffs out a laugh, “Alright…” 

Dan’s pout gets comically sadder. “They close early on Sundays.” 

“I’ll cut you a deal,” Phil says as he pulls himself up off the couch to step over to Dan’s little corner of the room. “We have anything to do tomorrow?” he hooks his chin over Dan’s shoulder, leaning down to look at his computer screen. Dan’s already pulling up their Google calendar. 

They hum a noise of contentment at the same time, a blissfully empty day staring back at them. 

“If you’re still craving an IKEA hot dog come tomorrow morning, we can go to the big one. Make a day out of it.” 

Dan leans his head against Phil’s, he doesn’t have to look to see the smile on his face. “M’kay.” 

Phil squeezes at Dan’s shoulders before standing back upright. “I should go get sorted for my live show,” he presses a kiss into soft curls before making his way out of the room. 

“Tell the kids I love them!” Dan calls after him, and Phil just shakes his head to himself. He knows Dan well enough to know he means the sentiment, but he isn’t _actually_ asking Phil to do so. It’s just what he’s gotten into the habit of saying every week, now that Phil goes off to do his own streams while Dan is still trying to figure out his new relationship with their viewers. The love is still there, but the relationship is different now. It mirrors their own life so perfectly that it’s almost comical. 

The first words that are whispered into Phil’s ear the next morning are not a soft ‘ _good morning_ , love’ or even a low grumble as Dan pushes himself against Phil - his two typical, predictable morning greetings. No, the first thing Phil hears that morning are much different. 

“Yep.” The pop of his lips at the end of the word breaches the tranquil morning silence of their room. “Still craving an IKEA hot dog.” 

Phil chuckles, rolling over in Dan’s arms so he can plant a kiss on his lips, morning breath never cared about. “Okay, let’s go to IKEA.” 

They’ve done more ridiculous things, over the past ten years together. So in comparison, hiring a car to take them to the big IKEA just for a _hot dog_ doesn’t even make the top ten. 

They decide to walk the showroom first, it’s still early afternoon and Dan says he can still feel his coffee and pastry from their to-go breakfast in the car.

“It’s not an ideal chemical reaction, mixing coffee and hot dogs,” Dan says as he gestures towards the escalator. Phil wishes Dan would just take his hand, pull him wherever he wanted to go. 

“So it’s multiple hot dogs now?” He quips, stepping onto the same step as Dan as it takes them up a floor - they can do that. 

“Well, we came all this way.” Dan winks. 

The store is as quiet as one would assume it would be on a Monday afternoon, which is absolutely perfect for Dan and Phil. They walk through the maze of the showroom, giggles and inside jokes, pointing while _‘ooo’_ ing and ‘ _aah_ ’ing, Dan occasionally picking something up and holding it out to Phil - the look in his eyes saying _‘look how fucking ugly this is’_ without having to say the words aloud. 

“Do you remember the first time we went to IKEA together?” Phil hums as he steps up next to Dan, who has his large palm pressed against the bedsheets of the bed in one of the little mock rooms. 

“Mm, how could I forget?” Dan turns his head to reveal a fond smile. “ _Manchester_.” His tone is wistful. 

“Feels like yesterday.” 

“It always has, with you.” 

“Funny how those are stuffed in one of our closets now,” Phil huffs out a laugh as they move along. 

“We come out, they go in,” Dan supplies. A beat later he lets out a cackle at his own joke, Phil is covering his own mouth with a hand as he wheezes. 

“We were so in over our heads moving to London,” Dan says casually as he slides open a closet door. They both 'Ooo’ in unison as it slides itself open in a satisfying motion. 

The store is a ghost town, and this section of the model room is cornered off in an L shape, so Phil doesn’t think twice about resting his hand on Dan’s lower back as he peers into the closet. 

“I didn’t think we’d make it.” 

“Me either.” 

“Remember when I hid from you in the wardrobe we were building, and you like, genuinely fell for it?” 

“I was playing it up for the camera!” Dan pops out of the closet, bumping his hip into Phil’s before turning to head into the kitchen. 

Phil’s _“Sure you were”_ and Dan’s stunned _“Wow”_ come out at the same time. 

Phil follows, to see what Dan is so impressed by. He has a similar reaction as he steps into the showroom kitchen. The cabinets and island are a stark black, a large farmhouse sink is set into, _probably faux,_ marble countertops, and there’s an industrial looking black rack installed over the island - fake plants and pots hanging from the top of it. 

Phil doesn’t have to ask, Dan already has his phone out - taking pictures of every inch of the room. But he does anyway, because he likes to hear it. They haven’t talked about this in a while. It’s been a busy past few years, and they had to figure out how to put themselves first before even thinking about the F word. 

He’s got a soft smile on his face as he says it, Dan taking a picture of the tag dangling from the industrial rack. 

“You want it to look like this?” 

Dan finally looks over at Phil, a wide grin on his face. “It’s _perfect_.” 

“Are we really going to furnish with _IKEA_ though?” 

Dan’s scrunched up face makes Phil chuckle. He’s long past wondering when that feeling of infatuation with the other man would wear off. He knows better now. 

“It would be very _us,_ wouldn’t it?” Dan ponders as he steps backwards out of the showroom, back onto the path of the IKEA maze, snapping a few pictures of the whole room as Phil makes silly faces at him. 

“It would be.” He agrees once he’s joined Dan, making their way to the next little display of someone else’s domestic dreams. They bump shoulders a few times before putting a more safe amount of distance between each other, another couple’s squeeze of the hand or waist. 

Phil insists on leaping into every single bed when they reach the frames and mattress section. He knows Dan has his arms crossed, tapping his foot like an impatient parent as Phil bounces between each one. But he also knows he’s softly laughing along with him. 

“Don’t make the same mistake a third time,” Dan warns, walking up to the bed Phil had just launched himself into quite aggressively. 

“ _Hey!_ I’ll take the blame for the sofa-bed, but _my_ ,” he holds up both of his hands to curl his fingers open and closed with the word, “bed breaking was entirely your fault.” 

“Was not!” Dan plops himself down on the edge of the bed. 

“It was _your_ idea to-” 

“ _Phil!”_ Dan whisper yells, cutting Phil off. “ _Not_ a subject for the middle of IKEA.” 

Phil just giggles, they know exactly why both of their faces are flushing red. 

“No IKEA bed frames in the forever home.” Dan says as they make their way to the next section. Phil agrees easily, it’s been a while since he’s heard Dan say that out loud. He feels a bit floaty as they walk along - they’re letting themselves daydream again, it seems. 

“Mmmph,” Dan moans, in a way that can only be described with words Phil cannot bring himself to say in public, as he takes his first bite into the fated IKEA hot dog. “God, these should be illegal,” he adds as he chews. 

It should be disgusting but Phil loves Dan. 

“Satisfied?” Phil asks before picking up his own, and Dan nods enthusiastically - _now_ choosing to realize he shouldn’t be talking with his mouth full. 

They’re sat at one of the tall tables by the exit, two hot dogs each spread out on the table. Two regular for Phil, and a regular as well as a veggie for Dan. Phil will take a few nibbles of the veggie one, and he’ll probably like it, but he’s not as adventurous to order an entire one of his own - that’s what Dan is for anyways. They’ve perfected the system. 

They don’t have any bags with them - this trip wasn’t for shopping anyways, it was to get a hot dog for Dan - but they did go through the tills, the evidence being the small stuffed shark sitting on Phil’s lap as they ate. 

Dan wouldn’t let Phil get the big one, even though Phil thought he had a _very_ convincing pout as he hugged the large BLÅHAJ soft toy. That’s probably why Dan held the smaller, identical one up out from behind his back as they left the kids section, with a fond “ _We came all this way, you should get something as well.”_

They argued about how to pronounce the Swedish name of the stuffed animal the whole way to the tills, eventually giving in and calling Cornelia to ask if she knew - because _hell_ if the two grown men would be approaching an IKEA employee to ask. Turns out, _none_ of their pronunciations were anywhere near correct. 

“We should start looking again, in the new year…” Phil says softly, breaking the silence that had fallen over them as they ate their hot dogs. 

Dan looks up at Phil, giving him a look that Phil didn’t really want to see. 

“You have...” Dan reaches across the table with a napkin, wiping at Phil’s chin. When he settles back in his seat, his lips tug up, a single dimple making an appearance. 

“I was going to say the same.” Dan pops the last bit of veggie dog into his mouth, wiping his hand before propping his elbow on the table so he can rest his head in his palm. “Was thinking about how to bring it up.” 

Phil blows air out of his nose. Of course he was. 

“This time next year we’ll be having hot dogs in that new kitchen of ours?” Phil plants his own elbow on the table, but he extends his hand out towards Dan as he waggles his pinky finger. 

It’s Dan’s turn to huff out a laugh. He holds his other hand out easily enough, wrapping his own pinky around Phil’s. 

“You’ve got a deal, Lester.” 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> i just need y'all to know that google docs says the word count of this is 2,009 words and I have never felt more disappointed by differing word counts site to site. Also I'm SORRY I have no idea what this is but let me know if I successfully romanticized IKEA hot dogs pls.  
> Thank you for putting up with my nonsense as always :)


End file.
